Empty Shell of Skin...

Wake up…shut down the alarm. Damn snooze button, I can’t see you. Let me sleep for 5 more minutes. Not like I am going to change the world or something. Oh shit! Got late!!  Hurry Hurry!

Phew, got the bus. Let’s check out what’s happening on facebook. Ohh, these guys went to this new place. Must have had a fun time eh. Why do these people feel the need to share it with everyone? Sense of insecurity or what? Dude I know you travel a lot, you don’t need to check-in each time you went to the fucking railway station. Made me realize I never go anywhere. I have been fucking working for 3 years of my life, and I don’t even know what I am doing. Do I like it? Hell no! Am I brave enough to speak up? No! Why? They wanted me to join family business and help my dad out. But I wanted to become an Engineer! Why? I don’t know. Probably it was cool back then when you only had a dream of leading a good life and earning 25K a month and buy new stuff all the time. My friends will be there, will check out new girls n all. Didn’t keep a check on inflation though.  Was 18 when I decided that. Go with the flow, don’t worry! The college is going to be cool! That’s what I was waiting for since my childhood watching these Disney shows. You be with cool people do cool stuff, worry about nothing and life a happy life after that. Anyways, I couldn’t have thought that the dream will lead me here, in this bus, travelling 20Kms away in a ‘flourishing park’ of zombies. The only problem with earning is that you get used to it and the life it gives you. It’s like when you convince your parents that you won’t misuse the internet. You start with the good stuff though, but then you get used to it, browsing, watching videos, then you get addicted to it. Then you think of it as a need, eradicating the concept for which you wanted it for the first place. Now you can’t live without it. Pretty wise people naming it a ‘web’, right?  Also the life you decided 7 years ago. You can’t change that can u? What will people say? The guy still doesn’t know what he wants? How many years does it take to figure out? Aarrgh!! Don’t mess this day. I have decided that I am going to love my work from today. It will give me a good life. Probably its like an arranged marriage, where you don’t know where are you going, but everyone expects you to go and you being a sincere child of your parents, will happily do it! Find a pretty girl, chatting for hours and finally, exchanging vows, by the time when you realize what you have got into, everything changes, and you are not ready for it, and the story goes on.

(Entering the office): “Best place to work award, 2012, we are trustworthy, disciplined …blah blah”. Who gave them the award? What for? Whom did they ask? Never mind. (Entering the lift): “Lift Ettiquetes: Please be polite…., please be patient….., help others…..” Fuck! I am 25 and still being taught how to behave in the lift!! I travel with these people, work with these people and all they do is stare at the mobiles instead of greeting. No one teaches them that eh. May be this identity crisis starts in the office when u realize that you are just one of those 10k people who don’t matter. Everywhere you see, you find the ‘fancy adjectives’, or  goals or vision of the company which you never relate to but you are to remember them! Because that what it is expected from you! That’s when you start to look those words as just words, and not some traits, which you were taught in your childhood. And that’s when you realize the true nature of the world around you. The soul has left and only shell has remained. That’s why I am becoming like this. I always wondered why people told me that I have changed, became more direct, practical (and a zombie). Daily a part of the soul is being converted into a code! Maybe that’s why I have started drinking, trying to revive it, and in turn, realizing that its temporary. Maybe that why they post their stuff on facebook, making attempts for their revival. I should also post something!